


The Sirius Cook

by Ineffabilitea



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Community: blanketforts, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-10
Updated: 2006-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-08 22:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineffabilitea/pseuds/Ineffabilitea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius doesn't cook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sirius Cook

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **blanketforts** 2006 [tenth prompt](http://www.livejournal.com/community/blanketforts/62088.html#cutid1).

When Remus comes home to find Sirius cooking, he almost turns right around and leaves the flat. Clearly, he's in the wrong place. Sure, the man currently stirring the contents of a steaming stockpot resembles his lover in all particulars, but Sirius simply doesn't cook.

"Who are you, and what have you done with Sirius Black?" he asks from the kitchen doorway.

"Moony! You're back! But if you're in doubt as to my true identity, you should be asking me my Ministry-approved security question."

"Fine. What's your preferred sexual position?" Leave it up to Sirius to pick a question guaranteed to embarrass the one who asked, and the icing on the cake, of course, is that the answer, to the best of Remus' knowledge (and he has a lot of experience in this realm) isn't even true- Sirius had picked it merely for the (bad) joke.

"Doggy style!" Remus can practically hear the rim shot that follows. "But c'mere and let me demonstrate," Sirius says, crooking his finger at Remus in a particularly sexy way.

"A tempting offer, but I'm afraid you'll first have to satisfy my curiosity. What could possibly have induced you to cook?"

"I finally found something worth cooking, is all."

"And what would that be?"

"Beer cheese soup."

"You're joking."

"No, really. There is such a thing. They had it on the menu at the pub I had lunch at on Monday. I like beer, I like cheese, so how could I resist beer and cheese together?"

Remus has to admit that the idea had promise. "Well, I look forward to trying this ultimate food at dinner tonight."

Sirius frowns. "I'm not sure you'll get the chance." He pokes at the contents of the pot with a spoon.

"Is there a problem?"

"I thought it sounded so easy. Just heat up some beer, then add cheese and let it melt. But I guess there's more to it than that."

Remus approaches the hob. Sirius' soup consists of a pot full of congealed and lumpy cheese, with a thin layer of liquid at the top. "Ugh."

"I think that about sums it up." Sirius sounds upset, and when he kicks one of the cabinets, Remus _knows_ he is.

"It was your first time cooking, Sirius love. I've seen much worse first attempts."

Sirius brightens a little. "Remember the first time Prongs tried to make Lily dinner?"

"Who could forget those crepes with the burnt edges and raw centres? Or the fondue with so much kirchwasser it actually caught fire?"

"I think Lily's eyebrows are still a bit singed from that."

"If we pour off the beer, I bet the cheese would still be edible. Just not as soup. So you've beat James there."

"Thanks, Moony. You're a good boyfriend, cheering me up like this."

"Of course I'm a good boyfriend. And I expect to be duly rewarded for my services this evening. _After_ we Apparate to this pub of yours for dinner."


End file.
